


As Long As You Love Me

by orphan_account



Category: Vampire Knight
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Asexual Character, Asexuality, F/M, Happy Ending, Humor, Ichiru is Asexual, Kaito is probably out of character, M/M, Romance, he just seems too nice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-24
Updated: 2016-03-24
Packaged: 2018-05-28 21:36:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6346315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I’m scared, scared that one day I’ll do it because I feel guilty. Scared I’ll do it because I’ll feel bad saying no. Scared that I really do owe you something and one day you’ll leave because I can’t give it to you.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	As Long As You Love Me

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally based on a fanfiction prompt, but it went in a very different direction.
> 
> I'm not claiming that all asexuals are like this. I'm not trying to offend anyone. This is a weird pairing and I apologize for that. But there's some Zeki in this, so it's not too weird. I was planning on posting this for Asexual Awareness Week, but I wrote it awhile ago. Anyways, enough of my rambling. Please enjoy :)

**As Long As You Love Me**

Ichiru was alone in his dorm. His roommate and older twin brother, Zero, was out on a date for the evening. And that meant that Ichiru could sing in the shower without fear of being heard. Zero was never mean to him, but Ichiru always felt self-conscious about having anyone hear him sing.

With warm water falling around him, he sang the first thing that popped into his head, “I don’t care who you are. Where you’re from. What you did. As long as you love me.” He paused to grab the soap and then continued, “Who you are. Where you’re from. Don’t care what you-”

He stopped when he thought he heard another voice and the voice kept going, “-did. As long as you love me.”

The voice sounded too close. He never locked the door except for at night, because no one could enter the building expect for university students and Zero sometimes forgot his key. Ichiru quickly washed off the soap and stepped out of the shower. He turned it off and grabbed a towel. Making sure to take the soap with him, he left the bathroom.

He found someone standing near the open door, smirking. “Get out of my dorm room,” Ichiru said, he tried to sound threatening but failed. At least he could still throw the bottle of soap.

“I heard you singing, so I thought I would see who had such a not awful voice,” the person explained.

“Okay, you can go now.”

The person shrugged, “I’m Kaito by the way.”

Ichiru walked toward Kaito, “I’m going to hit you with this.”

Kaito turned around and placed one of his feet slightly beyond the doorway, “I’ll see you around, ‘I’m going to hit you with this’.”

Kaito started to walk away, perfectly ducking away from the flying soap bottle that was thrown his way. Leaving Ichiru to realize his towel had been stolen. It took Ichiru a few seconds after the soap bottle had been thrown for him to notice that he was colder than he should have been.

He looked down and immediately shut the door once he knew he was completely naked. He would find out more about Kaito, so he could get back at him. With a sigh, Ichiru remembered that he had no soap and he had been in the middle of a shower.

* * *

“Ichiru, is there a reason your soap was in the hallway?” Zero was holding up a bottle of soap as he walked into the dorm.

“Nope, no reason. You didn’t see a towel out there, did you?”

Zero shook his head as he deposited the bottle on Ichiru’s desk, “Should I be worried about you, Ichiru?”

“No, you shouldn’t be worried about me, Zero. I’m fine, I just had a small incident.”

Zero sat down next to Ichiru on his bed, “What kind of incident, did something happen?” he asked worriedly.

Ichiru shook his head, “Nothing happened. Well, someone did walk into our dorm room, but I don’t think someone singing with me and then stealing my towel is cause for concern. They are, however, cause for revenge.”

“Ichiru, I need you to tell me that story from the beginning.”

Ichiru sighed, “You don’t have to talk so slowly, Zero.”

Zero rolled his eyes, “I was talking slowly because you’re worrying me. Now could you please tell me exactly what happened?”

* * *

 “Kaito?”

Kaito looked up from doodling on his notebook, “Hey, it’s ‘I’m going to hit you with this’.”

Ichiru rolled his eyes, “My name is Ichiru.”

Kaito nodded, “Okay, if you say so, Ichiru.”

Ichiru sat down next to Kaito, “Why are you in this class?”

Kaito gave him a look of fake innocence, “Am I not allowed to get an education, Ichiru?”

Ichiru rolled his eyes, “You are allowed to get an education, but why are you in the second quarter of freshman chemistry?”

Kaito shrugged, “I have to take at least 4 science classes, so I thought chemistry would be good. I took first quarter last year.”

Ichiru nodded, he wasn’t even sure why he was still talking to Kaito. He almost felt like he had to.

“What are you majoring in?” Ichiru asked.

“Law, Societies, and Justice. I’m guessing you’re a chem major and a freshman.”

Ichiru nodded, “Wow, amazing.”

Kaito smirked, “I really am. So Ichiru, would you like to go out with me?”

Ichiru didn’t know why, but without thinking, he answered, “Yes.”

* * *

 “I don’t get it, why did you say yes if you think he’s weird?” Yuki asked as Ichiru went through Zero’s closet.

“I don’t get it either. Zero, help me.”

Zero rolled his eyes, “Maybe you’ll learn to like him. And why are you wearing my clothes?”

Ichiru turned around and looked at Zero, “Because if I hate him, I’d rather be wearing your clothes so I don’t give mine bad memories.”

“Fine, when will you be home?”

Ichiru continued looking through the closet, “Probably 9, we both have 7:30 lab tomorrow morning.” Ichiru found what he was looking for and took the clothing out of Zero’s closet, a simple white sweater shirt and a pair of pants. He went into the bathroom to change, leaving Zero and Yuki to wait.

“You think he’ll be okay, Zero?”

Zero nodded, “I hope so, but he’s an adult, so we shouldn’t follow them.”

Yuki nodded, “He would be very upset.” There was a knock on the door. Zero walked over to the door and opened it, revealing Kaito. 

“I didn’t know Ichiru had a twin brother.”

Zero opened the door to let Kaito in, “I’m glad you figured it out so easily.”

Kaito walked into the dorm, “Who’s this?” Kaito asked as he pointed to Yuki.

Yuki smiled, “I’m, uh, Zero’s girlfriend.”

Kaito nodded, “Let me guess, you have an overprotective older brother.”

Yuki nodded, “Uh, yeah. How did you, um, know?”

Kaito shrugged, “You’re a good girl and older brothers can be more overprotective than dads.” Yuki felt very uncomfortable and Zero wasn’t sure what to think.

“Stop creeping her out.”

Kaito turned to Zero, “Oh, but then life is no fun.”

"Do you have an older brother?” Zero asked. He momentarily saw something on Kaito’s face. It could have been guilt, sorrow, dread, or all three.

“I did.” Zero and Yuki looked at each other while Kaito looked at the wall. None of them could have been happier that Ichiru walked out of the bathroom at that moment.

"What did you do to each other?” Ichiru asked, noticing the tension and the fact that Kaito seemed to not really be there.

Kaito shook his head and turned to Ichiru, “Nothing. We were just talking. Right, Zero and Yuki?” They nodded even though Ichiru was the only one who could see them and _he_ certainly didn’t believe them.

“Okay, should we go?” Ichiru asked. Kaito nodded and they silently left the dorm, leaving Zero and Yuki.

“He seemed interesting.”

Zero rolled his eyes, “That’s a nice way of putting it, idiot.”

* * *

Weeks passed with Kaito and Ichiru regularly going on dates and having a good time, but Kaito was starting to notice an interesting pattern. “Zero, can I talk to you?” Zero looked up from studying, unsure of how Kaito found him in the library.

Zero shrugged, “Sure.”

Kaito sat down in front of him, “Does your brother hate me?” Zero blinked at him, to his knowledge, Ichiru adored Kaito. If he didn’t then they wouldn’t have been on so many dates.

“No, did he do something to give you that idea? And also, how did you know I was here?”

“I didn’t know you were here, I just saw you and thought I would ask. I don’t know how to put this, but he hates it when I touch him.” Zero nodded in understanding. Ichiru didn’t explain things until he was comfortable, so Kaito just assumed Ichiru hated him.

“It’s not you. I won’t tell you why because he probably wants to explain it himself, but I wouldn’t worry too much.”

“Okay, so should I give him space?”

Zero shrugged, “If you like him, don’t stop going out with him. But you should give him actual physical space.”

Kaito nodded, “Okay, if you say so.”

"Do you like him?” Kaito nodded. “Why?” Zero asked.

Kaito stared at him for a moment before answering, “He makes me happy.”

Zero smiled, “And you make him happy. So just give him time, he’ll tell you.”

Kaito nodded as he got up, “Will do.”

* * *

A few weeks later, Kaito and Ichiru were studying for a chemistry test. Well, Ichiru was helping Kaito with chemistry and Kaito was attempting to pay attention. “Kaito?”

Kaito didn’t look up from staring at the textbook, “Hmmm?”

“Are you okay? The test isn’t for a few days, so we can study tomorrow.”

Kaito shrugged, “It’s up to you. But you know everything and we only have the last page to go over, so we might as well finish.”

Ichiru turned the page of the study guide, “Three laws of thermodynamics.” Kaito listed them off and Ichiru nodded. “We’re done.”

Kaito sighed in relief, “What time is it?”

Ichiru glanced at the clock, “2:50, we missed lunch.”

“Technically it’s not dinner yet, so we didn’t miss lunch. But I have a class in 40 minutes.”

Ichiru put all of his books away and Kaito did the same. Once that was done, Ichiru got up from the table, “Meet me at my dorm tonight, I have something to tell you.” Kaito nodded and Ichiru left. Kaito waited a few moments before getting up and walking to his dorm to find food.

Ichiru was done with classes, so he went to his dorm to study more. When he got there, Zero was already sitting and studying. “I thought you had class,” Ichiru said as he started setting up his books.

“It was cancelled, my professor’s sick. Ready for your chemistry test?”

“I think so. Are you busy tonight?”

Zero put his pencil down and turned toward Ichiru, “No, do you want me to go somewhere.”

Ichiru shook his head, “Can you stay?”

Zero nodded, “Of course. How is that going?”

“Good, I think. Maybe not you-and-Yuki serious, but serious enough.”

Zero smiled, “He really likes you. He actually talked to me a few weeks ago and I told him you would talk to him when you were ready.” Ichiru stared at Zero blankly. “Was that not good?”

“Well, he hasn’t asked. But he probably has some odd ideas now, huh?”

Zero shrugged, “Maybe not. He could just think that you’re a germaphobe. By the way, can you help Yuki with biology.”

Ichiru smiled and nodded, “Of course. I did well enough; it’s mostly just about understanding the reading.”

* * *

 Ichiru opened the door for Kaito that night. “Come in,” Ichiru said as he opened the door wider and stepped to the side.

Kaito walked into the dorm and spotted Zero, “Are you two drug dealers?” He was obviously kidding but he _was_ a bit suspicious. Ichiru sat on Zero’s bed and gestured for Kaito to sit on his. Kaito sat down and stared at Zero and Ichiru. “Why does this feel so awkward?” Kaito asked, hoping that it was just him and they didn’t have some huge secret to tell him.    

“Zero, can you tell him?”

Zero sighed, “Ichiru, I think it’s better if you do tell him yourself, but I can if you really want me to.” Ichiru shook his head, he wanted to tell Kaito himself. But his heart was beating so fast and it felt so hard to breath. How was he supposed to talk? After taking a few deep breathes, his heart was still pounding and he felt dizzy. An awful feeling hit the pit of his stomach the more he thought about saying the words he needed to.

Kaito was also beginning to feel uncomfortable. The air around him felt thick and he felt slightly dazed. He didn’t know why Ichiru was acting so weird but he couldn’t stop himself from speculating. But he waited patiently until Ichiru was ready to talk. Which only took ten minutes, but felt like hours to both Kaito and Ichiru.

“I’m asexual,” was what Ichiru said before he got up and left.

Kaito stared at the door for a few minutes before turning to Zero, “What?”

Zero sighed, “That’s why he left. This might be hard to understand because I’m explaining it from what Ichiru has told me, not from personal experience.” Kaito nodded and Zero continued, “Ichiru likes you, but he doesn’t want to have sex with you. In fact, the very idea of it, makes him feel sick.” Zero stopped and let that sink in for a few seconds. “He doesn’t want to have sex with anyone. He likes you on a romantic level and he will never find you sexually attractive.” Kaito had a lot of questions and he wasn’t sure which ones to ask Zero and which ones to ask Ichiru.

“Okay, is that why he doesn’t want me to touch him?”

Zero shrugged, “He’s not completely opposed to those kinds of things, he just wants to take things slowly and establish trust. You’ll have to ask him the details. That is, if you still want to date him.”

“I do. It’s something to get used to, but I think we can work it out somehow.”

Zero smiled, “I’m glad you see it that way. He probably went to Yuki since she’s the only other person who knows.”

Kaito nodded, “I’ll see him in chemistry on Wednesday, but tell him that I’m okay with everything.”

Kaito got up to leave and Zero nodded, “I will.”

* * *

“You needed help with bio?”

Yuki looked up from her books and towards her doorway, “Did you walk here?”

Ichiru nodded as he walked into the room and stopped in front of Yuki. “I told Kaito and I couldn’t stay there.”

Yuki nodded as she grabbed her books, “We can go in the kitchen, unless you didn’t want to help me study.”

Ichiru shrugged, “It would be better tomorrow.”

Yuki put the books back down on her desk and then they walked down to the kitchen. Kaname was studying in his room, so the entire downstairs was free. Ichiru sat at the counter while Yuki grabbed milk and cookies. She set two glasses of milk and a plate of what were most likely cookies from earlier that night.

She sat down at the counter and grabbed a cookie, “So you told Kaito and then what happened?”

Ichiru stared at the cookies, “I left. I couldn’t handle explaining it to him, so I left. He probably never wants to see me again.”

Yuki shook her head, “That’s not true. You’re nice, funny, sweet, good at chemistry and biology, and it seems like he really likes you.”  

Ichiru took a cookie since he had been staring at them so long, “But if he can’t do it then we shouldn’t be together.”

Yuki nodded, “But there isn’t a guarantee that he won’t be able to. Don’t get your hopes up, but have a little faith.”

Ichiru looked at Yuki’s smiling face, “You make it so hard to be upset, Yuki.”

“I try.” It was then that Kaname walked into the kitchen.

“Hello Ichiru, is Zero with you?”

Ichiru shook his head, “No, he’s at home. I’ll be going, sorry.”

Kaname grabbed a cookie and shook his head, “Feel free to stay. Although, I would like to know why you’re here.”

“Well, you know, relationship stuff.”

Kaname nodded, “Either Yuki or I would be happy to drive you home. Just come get me if you require anything.”

Kaname grabbed another cookie before leaving back to his room. Ichiru watched him leave before saying, “He really hates Zero.”

Yuki sighed, “Don’t remind me. So, are you feeling better?”

Ichiru shrugged, “I’ll only feel better if I talk to him. But, thanks Yuki.”

She smiled, “Come on, I’ll drive you home.”

Ichiru looked out the window and then back at Yuki, “It’s dark. Maybe I should ask Kaname.”

Yuki nodded, “Okay, we’ll all go.”

* * *

 Ichiru sat next to Kaito the following day in Chemistry quiz section, “Hi.”

Kaito looked at Ichiru because he was far more interesting than the clock he had been staring at, “Hi.” Ichiru couldn’t figure out how Kaito felt by his tone of the short word, Kaito didn’t seem upset, but he didn’t seem happy. “I really like you, so I’m willing to do things your way. But we do need to talk about what exactly your way is.”

Ichiru stared at him in shock for a few minutes before nodding, “After class?”

Kaito gave a short, affirmative nod, “After class.”  

They sat quietly and attentively through their quiz section. Once it was over, Kaito led Ichiru back to his dorm. “My roommate has class right now, so we have at least an hour,” Kaito said as he closed the door. Ichiru nodded and Kaito sat on the floor.

Ichiru sat next to him, “So…”           

“Zero explained everything but he told me to ask you what things you’re comfortable with. So, what are those things?”

Ichiru stared at the ground, “I don’t know.”

Kaito thought momentarily before coming up with an idea, “How about I say things and you answer yes, no, or maybe. Yes means it’s okay most times, the maybes we can talk about later, and a no is absolutely off limits." Ichiru nodded and waited for Kaito to ask his questions. “Okay, let’s start simple, hand holding?” Kaito asked.

“It’s a maybe right now, but wait a few weeks and it’ll be a yes.”

Kaito nodded, “Hugging?”

“Maybe.”

Kaito wasn’t a fan of hugging either, so he was completely fine with that. “Kiss on the hand.” Ichiru shuddered. “Okay, hard no. Kissing in general?”

Ichiru shrugged, “Ranging from maybe to no depending on what it is.”

Kaito nodded, “Cuddling?”

“Maybe.”

Kaito mentally went through all the maybes. “So hand holding is a maybe.”

Ichiru nodded, “I’ll initiate it.”

Kaito brought up the next one, “Hugging?”

Ichiru shrugged, “Probably not, unless you really need one.”

Kaito shook his head, “I hate hugging. Cuddling?”

“It depends on how warm you are.”

Kaito smiled, “That’s my rule. And also it depends on the activity. So kissing is a broad topic, should we take that one as we go?” Ichiru nodded, he had zero answers on that.

“Are you really sure you want this, Kaito?”

Kaito shrugged, “This is the longest relationship I’ve ever been in. It’s also probably the most normal, so yes, I want this.”

Ichiru looked at Kaito, “Since you just told me something, it’s only fair that I tell you something. When Zero and I were 11, our parents were murdered and it was my fault. I was the one who brought her in the house. She looked so sad one day when she was sitting in a tree and she just wanted children. But Zero saved both of us. He thinks it’s his fault he couldn’t save our parents, but it’s my fault she was there in the first place.”

“Where did you go after that?” Ichiru wasn’t used to that response, but he liked it.

“We were adopted by a close family friend. That’s actually how we met Yuki. Her uncle murdered her parents and she and her brother lived with the same person as we did until her brother was able to access their inheritance. They’re crazy rich, you should see their house.”

“I like how that’s the end of the story.” Ichiru shoved Kaito lightly at hearing the amusement in his voice. “I ran away from home when I was 13. My parents didn’t exactly care about my existence so I went to one of my junior high teachers’ house. He and his wife raised me and they tried to be helpful, but they couldn’t stop me from doing the one thing I wish I hadn’t. My older brother was great, but he got mixed up in a few things. He tried to keep me out of it, but I followed him on the worst day possible. I was fifteen and I got caught following him. They tied me to a chair and put a gun in my hand. Then they took my hand and aimed the gun at my brother. No matter how hard I struggled, I couldn’t get free and they pulled the trigger.”

Kaito stopped for a moment, debating whether or not to tell Ichiru the rest. “I’m so sorry Kaito.”

Kaito shrugged, “It’s not your fault. And it’s not your fault that happened to you. Wow, this got very heavy, maybe we should put this on my ‘no’ list.”

Ichiru glanced at the clock, “I have to go help Yuki with biology.”

Kaito smirked, “Isn’t that Zero’s job.” Ichiru opened his mouth to say no before realizing what Kaito meant.

He smiled, “Funny.” Ichiru got up from the floor, “Dinner tomorrow?”

Kaito nodded, “Hopefully we’ll still be functioning after the chem test.” Ichiru smiled and shook his head as he left the dorm.

* * *

“Have fun at dinner,” Zero said as he kindly pushed Ichiru and Kaito out of the dorm. They both looked at him funny before they left and Zero closed the door. As they walked down the hall, they saw Yuki.

“Oh, that’s why he kicked us out,” Kaito said as she walked past them. Yuki blushed and walked faster.

“Poor Yuki,” Ichiru said as they walked outside. The cold breeze hit them abruptly and Ichiru shivered. Kaito took off his jacket and handed it to Ichiru. “Aren’t you cold?” Ichiru asked as he took the jacket.

“Not really, but I’m wearing more layers than you.” Ichiru glanced at Kaito before slipping the jacket on. Ichiru didn’t comment that it smelled like Kaito or that it was warm. “I’m pretty sure I got two questions right on that test,” Kaito said, sounding rather proud of himself.

“Well, it was a hard test, Kaito. The average will probably be close to a 50, so I’m sure you did fine.”

“You probably got a hundred. I would be legitimately surprised if you didn’t get the highest score and I’m not just being nice. Take it from the person who studied with you, you know too much chem.”

Ichiru rolled his eyes, “That isn’t possible, Kaito. You just don’t know enough chem.”

“And you don’t know enough about justice.” Ichiru looked at Kaito and Kaito shrugged, “The name is too long, so I went with justice.”

Ichiru smiled, “You’re so weird, Kaito."

Kaito rolled his eyes, “Says the nerd.” Ichiru didn’t really understand why that phrase ever prompted his next move, but he grabbed Kaito’s hand. “Your hands are freezing,” was all Kaito said, much to Ichiru’s relief.

* * *

Months passed and everything was going well for Ichiru and Kaito. Summer break had arrived so Ichiru was helping Kaito move out and Kaito was helping Ichiru and Zero move out. Well, Ichiru walked with Kaito to his new apartment and helped him carry a bag and Kaito watched Ichiru and Zero pack.

When they were done, Kaito walked with them to their house. “So how far do Yuki and Kaname live from you?” Zero glanced at Ichiru, finding it odd that he hadn’t told Kaito.

“They’re our next door neighbors,” Ichiru told him as they continued walking.

“Oh, that makes a lot more sense.” They stopped in front of Zero and Ichiru’s home.

After a moment of Zero and Ichiru staring at the house and Kaito staring at Ichiru, they walked up to the front door. Kaito was the only one with two free hands, so he took the liberty of opening the door and holding it for Zero and Ichiru. Once they were inside, Kaito walked in and closed the door.

He was met with the smell of warm food and the sound of chattering and cooking. Zero and Ichiru set their stuff by the door and then the three of them walked into the kitchen. Kaito only recognized one of the people in the kitchen, Yuki, who was standing by the sink next to who Kaito assumed to be her older brother. And practically standing in the same spot as said older brother was a blond that Kaito had never heard of before. The last unknown person was Kaien Cross, who was cooking and talking to Yuki.

“Hello Zero Kiryu.” Kaito had to stop himself from laughing, he rarely heard a full name used like that.

“Kaname Kuran.” Kaito look at Ichiru, curious if this was normal.

Ichiru nodded at him and then looked at Kaname, “How are you?”

“I was fine before the sexual deviant arrived.”

Zero rolled his eyes, “I’m not a sexual deviant. And Hanabusa likes to brag, much to our annoyance.”

Hanabusa threw his hands in the air, “Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!”

“Okay, so you’re obviously Kaname,” Kaito pointed to Kaname, “and you’re Hanabusa?”

Hanabusa nodded. “Who’s this?” he asked, pointing to Kaito

Ichiru sighed, “This is Kaito, my boyfriend.”

Cross finally turned around, “You ran away to Toga.” Kaito nodded, feeling incredibly freaked out. “We went to college together. Is he still smoking?”

Kaito nodded, “Sometimes.”     

“I knew getting married would be good for him.”

Kaito smiled, “I’ve heard about you. That means you’re the one who always lectured him about it.”

Cross nodded, “It’s a bad habit, but he always told me to stop mothering him, so I let his wife handle that.” Cross went back to cooking and Kaito looked back at everyone else.

Zero, Yuki, and Ichiru were talking and successfully ignoring Hanabusa and Kaname making out.

Yuki hit Zero on the shoulder, “That’s not funny, Zero.”

Zero rolled his eyes, “I wasn’t being funny, idiot. Kaname acts like he wants to kill me.”

“Well sometimes you act like _you_ want to kill _me_ , Zero,” Kaito said.

Zero glanced at him, “I don’t act like that.”

Ichiru nodded, “You act like that, sometimes. But you’re not as bad as Kaname.”

Zero rolled his eyes as he flicked Hanabusa in the ear, “Do us all a favor and keep your pants on.”

Ichiru turned to Kaito, “I was going to put my stuff away.” Kaito nodded and followed Ichiru back to the front door. Ichiru picked up his stuff and he and Kaito walked up the stairs. “I know, they’re weird.”

Kaito shrugged, “They’re… interesting. But they’re you’re family and they seem to care.”

Ichiru nodded, “They do, but Kaname and Zero have some issues.” Ichiru walked into his and Zero’s room and threw his bag on the bed. “So this is our r-” Ichiru started to say when Kaito cut him off.

“I love you?”

Ichiru turned around, “Was that a question?”

Kaito shrugged, “It wasn’t supposed to be. I love you.”

Ichiru walked towards Kaito, “I love you too?”

Kaito rolled his eyes, “Hilarious.”

Ichiru smiled, “I thought so.” Ichiru glanced out the door to make sure Zero didn’t follow them before looking back at Kaito, “Kiss me.”

Kaito blinked, “Really? Because, we don’t have to.”     

Ichiru nodded, “Really.” Kaito leaned down a few inches and gave Ichiru a short kiss. Kaito looked at Ichiru expectantly and Ichiru smiled. “I think it’s safe to go back downstairs.” Ichiru walked out of the room and Kaito followed after taking a quick glance at what the room looked like.

Once they were back downstairs, they saw Zero grabbing his bag. “You two look happy,” Zero said as he started walking up the stairs. He didn’t wait for a response, Ichiru would tell him later and he had a feeling they were already in the kitchen.

* * *

 

“Do you want to come with me tomorrow when I go home?” Kaito asked as he and Ichiru sat in his apartment.

“Oh, sure. You know, you never told me where you live.”

Kaito rolled his eyes, “Technically, I live here. But my _home_ is 2 hours north of here.”

Ichiru smiled, “Okay. It can’t be as bad as what you experience, right?”

Kaito nodded, “It won’t be that bad. They would just pester me about not bringing you but if you’re there, they’ll be very nice.”

Ichiru looked at Kaito, “You don’t sound very sure.”

Kaito shrugged, “I’ve never brought anyone home before…”

Ichiru nodded, “Okay, well, it can’t be that bad.”

* * *

“You do realize you’ve met before, right?” Yagari asked while they were eating lunch after Kaito and Ichiru had talked to them for a while.

“What, no we haven’t.”

Yagari nodded, “You were 13, Kaito and you and Zero were 8, Ichiru.”

Kaito and Ichiru looked at each other, “Oh god, I’m so sorry.”

Ichiru shook his head, “It’s fine, I basically forgot about it.”

Kaito sighed, “Good, I’m surprised Zero hasn’t tried to punch me again.”

Ichiru shrugged, “Maybe he doesn’t remember or maybe he doesn’t want to get beat up again.”

Kaito smirked, “Yeah, I _did_ win.”

* * *

 Ichiru came back from class on the first day of the year only to find a sock on the doorknob. With a sigh, he turned back around and headed to Kaito’s apartment. After a short walk, he knocked on Kaito’s door hoping that Kaito didn’t have class.

A few seconds later, the door swung open. “Hey, come in.” Ichiru walked into the apartment and then Kaito closed the door. “Not that I’m not happy you’re here, but why are you here?”

“Well, there was a sock on my door.”

Kaito nodded, “You’re bed needed some time alone.”

Ichiru smiled slightly, “Yeah, that sounds better.” Kaito sat down on the floor and leaned against his bed frame. Ichiru sat next to him and did the same. “How was law school?”

Kaito sighed, “It was fine, I don’t have homework yet, but this might be the last school day when that’s true.”

Ichiru nodded, “Sorry.”

Kaito rolled his eyes, “If _you_ were the one assigning me homework, I think I would have a way to get out of it.”

They were silent for a few minutes until Ichiru took a deep breath. “Do you want to have sex?”

Kaito’s jaw dropped as he looked at Ichiru. Ichiru looked back at him expectantly. “Yes, but you don’t.”

Ichiru sighed, “I just want you to be happy. I think I might be able to do it for you.”

“Okay, but I’m going to keep asking if you’re okay and I want you to say no if you’re not.”        

Ichiru nodded and Kaito got up. Ichiru awkwardly stood, he wasn’t sure what he was doing or why he was doing it. Kaito started taking his pants off and Ichiru bolted into the bathroom saying “No, no, no, no, no.” Kaito sighed as Ichiru closed and locked the bathroom door.

He put his pants back on and walked over to the bathroom. He knocked on the door, “I’m leaving my key and locking the door. I’ll be at the bar so just come get me.” He didn’t let Ichiru respond, he didn’t want to hear someone’s guilty apologies.

He set his keys on the counter before locking the door and leaving the apartment. As he walked to the bar, he wondered if he really should have left. Staying could have made things worse but he couldn’t help but feel a little like he abandoned Ichiru.

He opened the door to the bar when he arrived. It was fairly empty when he walked in due to the fact that it was barely 4 in the afternoon. He sat down at an empty stool near the middle, “Shots, lots and lots of shots.” Kaito waited patiently as the bartender poured four shots. “One more,” Kaito said as he downed the first one.

The bartender poured the fifth shot and Kaito proceeded to quickly drink the remaining four shots.

“Do you want some food to go with those?”

Kaito sighed, “Might as well, I’ll probably be here for awhile.”

The bartender handed Kaito a menu, “Roommate troubles or relationship troubles?” he asked.

“Relationship.” 

* * *

Ichiru sat in the bathtub after Kaito had left. He should have chased after Kaito, but he didn’t. He could have called Zero, but he didn’t. Instead, he sat there for 2 hours until his phone rang. He glanced at it before picking it up, “I’m sorry, Kaito.” It was certainly not Kaito. But it seemed he had drunk himself silly in the two hours Ichiru was staring at a bathroom floor.

After Ichiru hung up, he ran out of the bathroom and grabbed Kaito’s keys before leaving for the bar. He ran the entire way to the bar, not stopping until he walked in and saw Kaito. He walked up to Kaito and sat next to him, “I’m so, so, sorry.”

Kaito poked him on the arm, “Why?”

Ichiru sighed, “Let’s just get you home so you can try and go to class tomorrow.” He wasn’t sure how he was going to get Kaito home, but he didn’t have many options. After seeing Kaito sort of stand Ichiru got up and helped him stand completely.

“Why are you carrying me?” Kaito asked as Ichiru walked them back to Kaito’s apartment.

“I’m not carrying you, I’m making sure you don’t fall and crack your skull open.”

Kaito smirked, “How do you know I’m not carrying you?”

Ichiru rolled his eyes, “Because you’re drunk.”

Kaito nodded, “I had a lot of shots. Where are we going?”

Ichiru sighed, “Your apartment.” Ichiru opened the door to the apartment building. He walked to the elevator and pushed the up button. When the elevator opened a moment later, Ichiru helped Kaito inside and pushed the button for the correct floor.

As the elevator went up, Kaito kept poking Ichiru’s arm. “Yes Kaito?”

Kaito smiled, “Your eyes are a pretty color.” Ichiru resisted the urge to blush and close his eyes. He was thankful when the elevator door opened and he was able to lead Kaito to his apartment.

After taking out the keys, Ichiru unlocked the door and led Kaito inside. Ichiru shut the door and placed Kaito on the couch, “Okay, I should probably stay with you so you don’t hurt yourself.”

Kaito shook his head, “I’m fine. You can-” that sentence was completely cut off as Kaito stumbled to the bathroom.

Ichiru’s phone rang as Kaito threw up. Ichiru picked it up, “Hello?”

He heard a sigh of relief, “I thought your class ended at 3:20, where have you been?” It was Zero.

“Sorry, I’m at Kaito’s. It’s a very long story, but I’m fine.” Ichiru walked to the bathroom to make sure Kaito was still okay.

“Are you coming home anytime soon?” Zero asked.

Ichiru sighed when he saw Kaito passed out over the toilet, “I don’t think so. He’s really drunk. I’ll get home as soon as I can.” Ichiru heard a reluctant sigh.

“Okay, just be safe.”

Ichiru nodded, “I will, I promise.”

* * *

Six hours later, Kaito woke up on the couch. He groaned, “Where am I?”

Ichiru looked up from Kaito’s computer, “I was wondering when you’d wake up. It’s a little past midnight.”

Kaito sat up, “Why didn’t you go home? How did _I_ get home?”

Ichiru set the computer next to himself on the ground. “I didn’t want you to die and I walked you here.”

“Oh, right. Sorry, do you want me to walk you home? Or you could stay here, since it gets sketchy outside.”

Ichiru sighed, “Shouldn’t we talk about what happened?”

Kaito got up from the couch and sat next to Ichiru, “I don’t really like talking about things, but go ahead.”         

“I’m really, really sorry. I know this is my fault and I can’t change what happened, but I’m sorry.”

Kaito stared at him, “ _You_ are sorry? For what? You didn’t do anything.”

Ichiru sighed, “Yes, I did.”

Kaito rolled his eyes, “I’m the one who got so drunk that I needed you to come get me and then wait in my apartment for six hours so I wouldn’t choke. And you probably haven’t had food either.”   

Ichiru shook his head, “No, I almost ate your food but you don’t really have any. But I did borrow your computer to watch Netflix.”

Kaito got up, “I’m making you food as an apology.”

Ichiru got up and followed Kaito to the kitchen. “You don’t have to.”

Kaito rolled his eyes, “Well, I’m hungry too.”

* * *

That morning at 7, Ichiru walked back into his dorm room. Zero woke up when he heard the door close, “Oh, good. I was so worried about you. Where did you sleep?”

Ichiru sat on his bed, “Kaito let me sleep in his bed and he slept on the couch. I didn’t mean to worry you.”

Zero sat up, “I know. And I have no right to tell you when to come home, but what happened?”

Ichiru sighed, “I’ll tell you later. I don’t have class until 9:30, so I’m going to sleep.” Ichiru got into his bed and Zero lied back down. “I can’t sleep.”

Zero smiled, “That always happens to you. Do you want to go eat breakfast?”

Ichiru nodded, “Sure and I can tell you what happened.”

* * *

Later that day, Kaito sat down in front of Zero in the library. “What are you, stalking me?” Zero asked as he looked from his textbook.

Kaito rolled his eyes, “No, you were here last time I had to talk to you. Seriously, do you study anywhere else?”

Zero sighed, “No, I don’t. What do you want, Kaito?” He was slightly annoyed at Kaito for keeping Ichiru out so late.

“Is Ichiru mad at me, because honestly, he should be.”

Zero rolled his eyes, “He doesn’t really know how to be mad at the people he loves. I know you didn’t ask him to do anything, but he feels like he owes something to you.”

Kaito sighed, “Well he doesn’t. What should I do?”

“I don’t know. He’s not talking to me about it.”

Kaito got up, “Fine, I’ll go talk to him.” Zero went back to studying, hoping that Kaito and Ichiru would work everything out.

* * *

Ichiru and Yuki were walking out of class when Kaito walked up to them. “Can I talk to you?” Kaito asked Ichiru.

“I should go find Zero,” Yuki said as she started walking away.

After Ichiru watched Yuki leave, he turned back to Kaito, “Sure.” They started walking to the library.

“You don’t owe me anything and you shouldn’t do anything because you feel guilty.”

Ichiru sighed, “I’m scared, scared that one day I’ll do it _because_ I feel guilty. Scared I’ll do it because I’ll feel bad saying no. Scared that I really do owe you something and one day you’ll leave because I can’t give it to you.”

“If you said scared one more time, I was going to cut you off.” Ichiru gave a hollow chuckle. “And you’re almost crying.” Ichiru rolled his eyes, not seeing how that was a relevant fact and wondering if Kaito had paid attention to anything he had said. “I’ll never leave you unless you want me to. I’ve been in this relationship for too long to end it over something like that. You shouldn’t feel bad for being repulsed by something. You shouldn’t feel bad for saying no. I will _never_ make you do something or even suggest that you do something even remotely close to sex. I know you’re scared, but I’ll always be here to make your fears go away. But please promise me you’ll say no if you don’t want something.”

Ichiru nodded, “I’ll say no, but you have to say no if you don’t want something too.”

Kaito smiled, “It’s a deal. Why are we stopped in front of the fountain?” Kaito hadn’t even realized they had stopped walking at some point during his speech until it was over.

“Can you kiss me again?” Kaito leaned closer to Ichiru in response. “But if you put your tongue in my mouth, I’ll bite it off,” Ichiru said.

Kaito rolled his eyes, “But then my tongue would stay in your mouth, isn’t that grosser?”

Ichiru sighed, “Just kiss me.” Kaito smirked and did as asked, with no tongue because he enjoyed being able to talk.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to those of you that read the entire thing :) Let me know if this was good, or if it was awful.


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